Jump to content


Photo

Bouncing Through the Hoops


  • Please log in to reply
32 replies to this topic

#1 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 22 July 2018 - 08:08 PM

As I understand the process, I am supposed to write an introduction telling you about who I am and why I'm here (on Doodie Project - not metaphysically).  You, in turn, will berate me so that later you can be stallions in bed with your life partner. 

 

I also understand that if I attempt to post without benefit of an introduction I will be severely chastised, the result being that the chastiser is so filled with self-importance that they invade Poland or start a land war in Asia.  I don't want that to happen.

 

At least that is my understanding of the process.  Being a good sport I will attempt to comply.

 

Bounce is from mid-America.  He is all things to all people.  He is irreverent and a wise-ass to the point that it interferes with the mission or is hurtful.

 

Bounce is called Bounce because he falls a lot.  Bounce always gets up.  Some say Bounce is good to the last drop.  People who ride dual sport motorcycles with Bounce claim that they see more of the drain plug of Bounce's motorcycle than they see of Bounce.  Some bail bondsman say Bounce is dead, some say he never will be.

 

Bounce spent much of his working life hanging around firearms ranges nudging police officers toward some degree of short-lived competency.  As a by-product of that endeavor Bounce developed a liking for firearms and shooting in general.

 

A long-time ago Bounce shot PPC.  Nobody told him to sandbag his first couple matches so he might have a chance to win a match some day.  He never did - sandbag, or, win a match.  Since then Bounce has satisfied himself with shooting action pistol at the local club and an occasional GSSF match.

 

Bounce retired a couple years ago, thanks to Uncle Sam and some wise investments.  Since then he has made it his life's mission to enrich Harley Davidson, Kawasaki, various AR manufacturers, Dillon's and Precision Delta,  Not necessarily in that order.

 

Despite his affinity for HD motorcycles, Bounce doesn't play dress up when he rides.  Nor does he play dress-up when he shoots.

 

Bounce doesn't remember how he found the Doodie Project, perhaps it was during an investigation along the back trail of some unsavory legendary figure.

 

Bounce has met Bob Dole.  Bounce liked him so much he began talking like him.

 

Despite the fact that he knows everything about everything, Bounce is here to lurk and learn..


  • Stubb, Peally and ralloway like this

#2 Fishyjoe

Fishyjoe

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 488 posts

Posted 22 July 2018 - 08:21 PM

Fucking Boomers. I can’t wait till these assholes finally die off.
  • Yard Sale and 3gundago like this

#3 GuanoLoco

GuanoLoco

    Minister of Culture

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4,147 posts
  • LocationMy Safe Space

Posted 22 July 2018 - 11:04 PM

Your compliance is appreciated. Your effort is appreciated.

I was reasonable informed. I was reasonably entertained.

You are totally missing the point of requiring an introduction post, although you have clearly done some homework on it.

#4 slemmo

slemmo

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,932 posts
  • LocationNorway

Posted 22 July 2018 - 11:35 PM

People that refer to themself in third person need to see a shrink.


  • Yard Sale, MEISTERB and EazyRhino like this

#5 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 11:42 AM

People that refer to themself in third person need to see a shrink.

 

Bounce has.  He's okay. 


  • Sweet T likes this

#6 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 11:47 AM

Fucking Boomers. I can’t wait till these assholes finally die off.

Bounce is sorry that your Boomer parents raised such an ungrateful hedonist.

 

Bounce wonders what you have accomplished in life to have such a jaded opinion of a whole generation?

 

Bounce thinks you probably wear tie, so as to keep your foreskin from covering your face.  (In case you don't understand, Bounce just intimated you are a dick-head)


  • Matt1 and Will like this

#7 Sweet T

Sweet T

    Glock Master Race

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,608 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 01:25 PM

It's been a while since I literal lol-ed from an intro thread.

Give this man a bag of dicks.

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk



#8 GuanoLoco

GuanoLoco

    Minister of Culture

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4,147 posts
  • LocationMy Safe Space

Posted 23 July 2018 - 03:23 PM

Awarded: One bag of the rubberiest old dicks I had laying around.  They may have been microwaved more than once, but it's the best I can do on short notice.

 

Eat them in good health.  And get help.


Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Doodie Project?

You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

In Doodie, Veritas.

"You might be a little thin-skinned for this forum". -Scott.

#9 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 05:42 PM

In good conscience Bounce is not able to accept generous gift.  The only things that go in Bounce's mouth is food and his foot.

 

Bounce worked several DV calls over the years in which he saw oodles of rubber dicks.  They made him feel inadequate.  Apparently at some point they had the same impact on the men in those situations.

 

In one instance Bounce began to wonder what kind of person would allow his wife to have a collection of rubber dicks, arranged in ascending order on her dresser.  Bounce never got to ask because the man ran once his wife told him she had called the popo.

 

Bounce is going to get help.  He is building a new shop and will need help handling trusses.  Maybe Bounce's new friend Fishyjoe will help.  Bounce would ask but sometimes metrosexuals are hesitant to try manual labor because the tools don't fit their hands.  Bounce doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.



#10 racetaco

racetaco

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 705 posts
  • LocationMontana

Posted 23 July 2018 - 06:09 PM

I’ll give you some credit for putting in effort but....... the 3rd person stuff creeps me out.
  • LeviSS1 and MEISTERB like this

#11 Will

Will

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,407 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 07:27 PM

Found a way to use "metaphysically" in an intro, on doodie; that earns an "A" classification... Not too shabby... 

 

The tie cutdown was pretty funny.



#12 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 08:31 PM

I’ll give you some credit for putting in effort but....... the 3rd person stuff creeps me out.

It is starting to creep Bounce out, also.  

 

Bounce can't decide if he sounds like Bob Dole or Tonto.  

 

Bounce has decided to adopt first person singular in general population.

 

Bounce's inspiration for this schtick was a buddy's child, who one day began referring to himself as 'Big Mike' and narrating his life - 'Big Mike is going out the front door now' kind of stuff.  It wouldn't have been so bad, but his name wasn't Mike.  Five year-olds, whaddya gonna do?


  • Yard Sale and ralloway like this

#13 Fishyjoe

Fishyjoe

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 488 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 08:55 PM

Bounce is sorry that your Boomer parents raised such an ungrateful hedonist.

Bounce wonders what you have accomplished in life to have such a jaded opinion of a whole generation?

Bounce thinks you probably wear tie, so as to keep your foreskin from covering your face. (In case you don't understand, Bounce just intimated you are a dick-head)


What are you going to tell me next? Water is wet? Everyone knows I’m a dickhead, no daily tie since 12 years of private school though.

#14 EazyRhino

EazyRhino

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 49 posts
  • LocationWisconsin

Posted 23 July 2018 - 09:07 PM

Bounce is fucking retarded if he thinks third person references will get him anywhere.

Boomer gen is the pits.

#15 ToddKS

ToddKS

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 1,463 posts
  • LocationGetting killed in the streets

Posted 23 July 2018 - 09:13 PM

I think Bounce is Dobby the house elf from Harry Potter.
  • EazyRhino likes this

#16 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 09:40 PM

Bounce is fucking retarded if he thinks third person references will get him anywhere.

Boomer gen is the pits.

 

Like you, Bounce used to use 'fuck' as an adjective, but he stopped when he turned fifteen.

 

Bounce is not retarded, he's been tested.

 

Bounce is not trying to go anywhere, he's already been anyplace of any import.

 

Bounce feels you show your lack of intellect by your stereotypical denigration of an entire generation with your 'Boomer Gen is the pits.' 

 

Bounce says stereotyping is a crutch for the lazy, and intellectually challenged, it relieves them of the responsibility to think critically.

 

This makes Bounce sad.



#17 Bounce

Bounce

    Member

  • Members
  • PipPip
  • 14 posts

Posted 23 July 2018 - 09:44 PM

What are you going to tell me next? Water is wet? Everyone knows I’m a dickhead, no daily tie since 12 years of private school though.

 

Private school?  My, aren't we a fortunate son. 

 

So are you going to help me haul trusses for my shop roof?



#18 EazyRhino

EazyRhino

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 49 posts
  • LocationWisconsin

Posted 23 July 2018 - 10:28 PM

This makes Bounce sad.


Goal accomplished.

#19 GuanoLoco

GuanoLoco

    Minister of Culture

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 4,147 posts
  • LocationMy Safe Space

Posted 23 July 2018 - 11:12 PM

In good conscience Bounce is not able to accept generous gift.  The only things that go in Bounce's mouth is food and his foot.
 
Bounce worked several DV calls over the years in which he saw oodles of rubber dicks.  They made him feel inadequate.  Apparently at some point they had the same impact on the men in those situations.
 
In one instance Bounce began to wonder what kind of person would allow his wife to have a collection of rubber dicks, arranged in ascending order on her dresser.  Bounce never got to ask because the man ran once his wife told him she had called the popo.
 
Bounce is going to get help.  He is building a new shop and will need help handling trusses.  Maybe Bounce's new friend Fishyjoe will help.  Bounce would ask but sometimes metrosexuals are hesitant to try manual labor because the tools don't fit their hands.  Bounce doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.


I wasn’t a suggestion. Now choke them down like a good little Bounce.

There you go.

I saw that! No hiding a big one for later. Now eat that last one.

Good Bounce.

Thant is all. You may now have your pudding.

Welcome to the Fraternal Order of Doodies.
Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Doodie Project?

You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

In Doodie, Veritas.

"You might be a little thin-skinned for this forum". -Scott.

#20 Fishyjoe

Fishyjoe

    Advanced Member

  • Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 488 posts

Posted 24 July 2018 - 08:22 AM

Private school? My, aren't we a fortunate son.

So are you going to help me haul trusses for my shop roof?


Don’t confuse my parents disdain for government school as privilege. You want trusses hauled? You’re gonna have to pay for that. I don’t think you’ll like the rate though.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users